Serious Moonlight

What do you do when your husband is going to leave you for his mistress? You duct tape him to the toilet of course, or at least that’s what Louise thinks.

 The movie Serious Moonlight cues off with a nice taxi drive through the countryside with some old jazz tune playing. The rest of the soundtrack is actually quite unmemorable so there isn't much else to say about the music selection. The scenes are fitting and believable. One may argue that the actors help play a big part in that though. This movie directed by Cheryl Hines stars Meg Ryan, Timothy Hutton, Kristen Bell, and Justin Long. They all fit their parts so well.

Louise, a 40-something-lawyer- work-a-holic, decides to surprise her husband, Ian, by driving to their country home a day early in order to meet up with him for the weekend they had planned together. She calls him and says she’s at the office, he tells her he’s going to a meeting. The moment she walks into their countryside house, the surprise is on her.

There are flower petals on the floor, multiple vases filled with roses of different colors, and of course her husband upstairs. Ian, had arrived in the taxi from the opening scene to set up this lovely scenario for his mistress. He was in the middle of writing her a letter about how he was going to leave her. When Louise finds Ian, he stops her from feeling all romantic like as if he had done the romantic scene for her. Like a coward he gives her the note, a simple note making sure to include that she should remember to feed the fish and not an actual conversation of termination. Ian’s actions give insight to just how irrational the characters are.

A few moments into the argument, Louise throws a vase at him and duct tapes him to a chair. When he wakes up, she tells him how she won’t let him go until he loves her again. She sounds rational to any wife that’s been cheated on but to the rest of the world, she seems psycho. Where does the knives and torture begin? Unfortunately for some, it’s not that kind of movie even if it involves duct tape.

Just like their wedding day he promises her something, this time it’s that he won’t run away if she lets him use the bathroom. Why she believed him, who knows but he didn’t get far. Louise knocks him out with a vase yet again and this time tapes him to the toilet. At this point anyone in the audience can’t help but smirk in admiration to her crazy dedication to make their marriage work.

The mistress, girlfriend, Sara, whatever you want to call her arrives at the house only to be greeted unexpectedly at the door by the wife. Sara is roughly twenty years younger, blonde and attractive. Louise comes up with an idea. Here’s where the typical wife-girlfriend movie scenario is just as irrational as the characters. They don’t get into a fight or start being all crazy. Louise manages to convince Sara that Ian is staying the night to work out details and will be flying with her to Paris in the morning as planned. As she leaves, Louise throws up. To those with more testosterone than estrogen, it may make you want to do the same not long after.

The movie never really starts to get predictable. Louise keeps coming up with ideas to get Ian to love her again like showing slideshows, baking cookies and serenading him. When Louise is out in town a lawn care guy just happens to hear Ian’s cry for help. Trouble begins; turns out the lawn care guy is actually just a robber. Ian gets a few punches and a lecture about how he is failing at love and life since he cheated on his wife. Everyone get’s the urge to root for the bad guy at this point. Louise gets home, she runs into the robber who knocks her out all the while Ian is hearing all the smashing sounds of furniture and begging that he doesn’t hurt her. The sympathy begins, the love that he has left for her starts to show.

While Louise is passed out, Ian starts to recall memories and talk to her as if she may be dead, pleading for her to talk to him. He sheds a tear and apologizes to her for being such a loser. For being duct taped to the toilet, it’s about as romantic as it can get.

When she wakes up they talk and work things out for the moment. Morning comes and Sara arrives pissed off that she’s not on the way to Paris with Ian at that point. Once again, the robber encounters the victim, duct tapes her and throws her in the bathroom with the other two. Who said things couldn’t get interesting? When wives, girlfriends and husbands are in the same room, it might as well be on Jerry Springer. Although being duct taped sure changed things. The women don’t get far with trying to hurt each other while their hands are taped up.

Things take a turn for the better when the robbers finish the partying and leave. Sara still has her cellphone in her pocket, which they use to call 911. Everything is gone from the house but other than that everything seems to be fine. The marriage on the other hand, you just have to watch for yourself to see what the husband’s final verdict is.

The movie is funny, romantic and gives a bit of hope for those who have determination to do whatever it takes to save their marriage, even if it involves duct tape and a toilet.

Jenna

Jenna Mourey is at nearly half a billion views. Some may recognize her more as Jenna Marbles. The youtube celebrity is growing in fame weekly as more videos are being made. Mourey creates videos every Wednesday and posts them on various websites. The websites include youtube, facebook and twitter. The content posted varies on not only what she wants to talk about but also what the fans input on topic ideas are. Usually the "talks" are more to the tune of a rant. Several of her videos rant about specific people as well including "White Girls At The Club", "What Bitches Wear At The Airport", and "My Neighbor Is A Bitch." One thing that doesn't change though is her profanity use, which is almost a vital part of her personality. Her first video uploaded was about her dog Marbles, taken from what seems like a cell phone camera. As time passed and her videos became more popular she added an opening screen to her videos which labeled her as a blogger and entertainer. The video then upgraded to seem staged to be like from a laptop camera but the quality seems a tad bit too good for that. Also, the laptop idea wouldn't work out for scenes where she is driving and out of the house. At the end of every video she has a habit of telling everyone about how she makes new videos every Wednesday, telling everyone to subscribe to her channel and saying bye to objects that are in the camera view while holding her dogs. One of which is named Marbles, half the reason the series was named Jenna Marbles. The mix of routine things such as the greetings and the new with every episode ideas keep people interested. Jenna provides a very blunt opinion on things, which most people find entertaining. Her video on "Sluts on Halloween" is a prime example of her no bullshit rants. The background scenery, her room, is usually the same but changes every now and then to places like her living room, kitchen, and even car. Most of which are quite nice and would make true followers remember that she does have a Masters degree which must help pay her bills. Speaking of bills, the latest video posted, "I Hate Being A Grown Up" is right on target with that one. Jenna rants about all the things she is now forced to do since becoming a "grown up" such as paying bills. This episode is a little off key with the humor in comparison to previous videos. It follows the style of her "What Girls Do In The Bathroom In The Morning" video minus all the extra funny bits. The videos also vary in length depending on how much she has to rant about but they average about 5 minutes which is perfect for the typical online procrastinator. One can only presume that if she keeps producing these videos for more years to come that they keep getting better and not start lacking in the humor that got her famous in the first place. Please subscribe to her channel, she posts videos every Wednesday, bye laptop, bye lamp.

Vampire Diaries

The scene starts with a dark road in the wilderness, fog, mysterious voice speaking and a vampire attacking. The only thoughts that come to mind is who decided to watch Twilight and when do the werewolves come in? Unfortunately, it’s not a mistake and it’s not Twilight.  This pilot belongs to the Vampire Diaries and it’s just the start to a failed attempt at the next big vampire related release.

Starting off with a nearly typical horror scene, the low soft voice speaking just doesn’t seem to fit. A guy and girl end up hitting someone, whom we interpret as the vampire that attacks them. The attacks show up on the news as animal attacks, yet another coincidence with Twilight. In the small, quiet town of Mystic Falls everyone get to know about everyone. Stefan, the owner of the mysterious intro voice, tells us that he needs to know Elena. Elena is the girl everyone just has to ask if she’s alright now at the start of the new school year since she lost her parents prior to the summer. She writes in her diary everyday and keeps up with what she hopes to accomplish as far as trying to move on. Living with her young aunt now and junkie brother, she relies on her best friend. Elena’s best friend is Bonnie, a psychic. When Stefan comes to enroll at the school Bonnie predicts him to be from Seattle, yet another thing they just had to tie up to Twilight.

As more typical junk goes, the predictable complicated love story is introduced and the vampire stereotypes are on point, except this time, they don’t sparkle. Stefan can’t enter Elena’s house without being invited in, he can’t be in the sun without his ring, and he nearly loses control when she gets hurt, starts to bleed and he smells it. A bit boring but his eyes do change to the ones like the vampires from 30 Days of Night. That means minus one point for the girly aspect of it all.

That’s where most of the typical stuff ends though. The writers attempted to get more creative by adding plot twists such as a conflict between Stefan and his brother and multiple other love triangles. At a party a girl gets attacked by another vampire and ends up in the hospital. Meanwhile, Elena spawns the start to the next episode by inviting Stefan into her house.

This series seems to be right on track for all those on Team Edward. The lack of substance besides twisted love triangles makes it an easy show to nap to. The casting was done decently; Elena at least has more facial expressions than Kristen ever did in Twilight. Although one could argue, you’d be better off wasting 2 hours rather than watching this for 2 seasons.